Curtain Down

In case you haven't heard, there's something big and artsy happening soon in Dallas. A little thing called the AT&T Performing Arts Center is having its grand opening next weekend, and it promises to be spectacular. And while I plan on being there for all the free festivities on Oct. 18, there's a story that ran in this weekend's New York Times that made me stop and think about some of the Center's more subtle aspects.

Like the curtain at the Winspear Opera House. Yes, the NYT devoted an entire page to describing the specially-commissioned theatre curtain designed by artist Guillermo Kuitca. From Kuitca's agonizing search for inspiration to the curtain's assembly in Long Island City, the article by Dorothy Spears covers the lifespan of an enormous piece of chocolate-brown velvet.

I love this.

Aside from the fire curtains that descend during intermission in London's West End, I can't remember the last time I was so interested in a stage curtain.

Whether I'll ever be able to afford to see something in the Winspear is debatable, but if I manage it, I know I'll give that abstract design more than a cursory glance.

Bedtime

What the %$*@ was that?!

Oh, sorry. I just thought I heard something. There it is again! No, wait, that's the washing machine. Ok, I'm better now.

Last night, I dragged my arse out to AMC Northpark for the rainy midnight showing of Paranormal Activity. The sold-out midnight showing, I might add. A quick word with the ticket seller, and I learned that every showing had sold-out since the theatre received the film Oct. 1.

So...was it worth it?

The theatre was packed with loud, giggling teens from nearby SMU, alternately texting and showing off for their friends while waiting for the lights to dim. (Fun fact: lead actress Katie Featherston is an SMU grad). On the surface, a nightmare audience for anyone over the age of 22. But as soon as the first "thrill" occurred (sorry, no spoilers here), even the swaggering fellow next to me shouted, "Oh, hell no!"

Turns out it's a brilliant concept, showing this low-budget, high-terror movie in only a handful of college towns (for now), letting the kids scream themselves silly at midnight, and then slowing widening the net and waiting for the breathless word-of-mouth to spread and the money to roll in.

Not only was Paranormal Activity the absolute scariest movie I've seen in years, but the multitude of screams ringing out in the theatre only added to the fear. As the clock neared 2 am, the mass of audience members made their way to their cars, surreptitiously huddling together and unwilling to separate in the gloomy parking lot. I've never heard a crowd so loud and nervous leaving a movie theatre.

For a nice touch, the dates when the couple began to record the phenomenon are all suspiciously familiar. October 2? That was last night! And the "activities" in the movie all occur between the hours of 1 am and 5 am--exactly when we were all heading home to bed.

The movie? Well, the entire genius of the film comes from its suspense and surprises. I won't say anything about the plot other than it does for the bedroom what Jaws did for the beach and Psycho did for showers.

If Paranormal Activity isn't showing in your town, Demand It. If it is, trust me--it's completely worth it to go. Just bring someone to grab onto when things start happening...and I hope you don't sleep alone.

Don't Let the Door Hit You...

Today John Heilpern resigned his post as The New York Observer's theatre critic. He'd held the position for 17 years, but, as he recently told Michael Reidel, "Nobody asked me to leave. I just felt it was time to move on. Read into that what you will."

How wonderfully vague!

However, Heilpern got less vague when commented on the Observer's young (he's my age!) publisher, Jared Kushner: "I don't want to be too negative about the 12-year-old owner, Jared Kushner, but as my ma and pa from Manchester, England, used to say, 'That boy couldn't run a chip shop.'"

Ouch.

Heilpern still writes the "Out to Lunch" column for Variety, and he's working on a few books. His old post will be divided between two writers: one yet to be named, and Jesse Oxfeld, a former Gawker editor who wrote about theatre and was let go as senior editor at New York magazine last year. Hooray Gawker! Perhaps stay in that vein and fill the other opening with Richard Lawson, my personal favorite former Gawker theatre writer?

On Second Thought

Remember the hoopla surrounding the decision to translate some of Stephen Sondheim's West Side Story lyrics into Spanish for the current revival? Today the producers said "not so much" to that idea, announcing that the songs "A Boy Like That" and "I Feel Pretty" will now be sung in their original English instead of Lin-Manuel Miranda's Spanish. The Spanish bits in the "Tonight" reprise will stay.

Director and original book writer Arthur Laurents defended the decision, saying that, "from the outset, the Spanish in West Side Story was an experiment. It's been an ongoing process of finding what worked and what didn't, and it still continues."

I'm all for experiments in theatre. Heck, theatre itself is always an experiment! But you have to remember who's buying the tickets to this show. When a timeless juggernaut like West Side Story comes back to Broadway, white tourists from Middle America see it as a safe choice, a known quantity that will not disappoint or frighten them. But when the actors start singing entire songs in Spanish (with no subtitles), suddenly the audience is lost and not happy about it.

If this revival had been mounted at, say, Lincoln Center instead of in the exact center of Times Square, perhaps the Spanish could have succeeded. But as it is now, Broadway still has to play it relatively safe.

My Spidey Senses are Tingling...

...and it ain't good. The rumors have been swirling, and now Michael Reidel has confirmed that Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark, will not be swinging into the Hilton Theatre this winter.

Shocked? Didn't think so.

This $45 million extravaganza (with music by U2's Bono and The Edge and direction by The Lion King's Julie Taymor) has always seemed a little kooky. Taymor wanted it to be something akin to Cirque du Soleil. Cirque du Soleil would not succeed on Broadway, even if its weekly running costs were much, much lower than those of Spider-Man.

So, as of now, all production has been put on hiatus and the actors have been released from their contracts. I'm just surprised it got this far.

Behind the Scenes

My dear friend Carolyn has started a blog that gives readers a behind-the-scenes glimpse of the new Broadway musical Memphis.

She is an associate working for the lead producer, and therefore has access to every aspect of this show, which has been in development since 2007. The banners and art went up at the Shubert Theatre yesterday, and Carolyn was there to capture it.

I know I'll be following her blog, which will feature guest posts written by others involved with the show. Will you?

Please Silence Mobiles and Zip Your Pants

Doesn't this sound more like something more likely to happen in America?

Several West End theatres will now start employing "bouncers" to keep unruly--and most oftentimes drunk--audience members in check.

The report mentions the Garrick and Lyric theatres (both owned by the same people) as specifically looking to beef up security, but the Aldwych and Prince of Wales theatres are also cited as having loud and abusive patrons.

Nica Burns, partial owner of the Garrick and Lyric, said, "It can get quite hectic and very boisterous. I am looking at introducing security front of house to keep the right balance of fun and order."

What happens if someone shows up soused for the show? Or if a whole party was out slinging back drinks prior to curtain and puts up a huge fuss when denied entry? There's no comment about the specific...

Reportedly, one audience member for A Little Night Music, which played the Garrick recently, almost hit one of the performers when he decided to urinate in the auditorium.

So much for the rest of the world thinking of the British as reserved.

Broadway.com: Brought to You By Broadway

So, Broadway.com has a new look. Perhaps they saw that Playbill recently redesigned its site and decided to follow suit. Or maybe someone just looked at Broadway.com, cocked their head to the side and said, "Hmm. Not nearly enough advertising!"

That's my guess.

All editorial content has been shoved to the bottom, making room for a full page of ticket sale buttons, Visa ads and hotel packages. Don't get me wrong; I know that all businesses, Broadway included, depend upon advertising revenue to even exist. But now Broadway.com, a site I've enjoyed visiting for years for its news and features, looks like a total sell-out. What do you think of the new design?

Don't Worry, You'll Still Get a Gift Bag

There's been a shake-up at the Tony Awards.

A letter went out yesterday to members of the First Night Press List (those who see Broadway shows on or before opening night) informing them that they will no longer be allowed to cast votes in the Tonys.

Here's the catch: in past seasons, ONLY press on the First Night list were eligible to vote. Now, under the new rules, it appears that no one in the press will have a say about who shows up on the first Sunday in June.

According to Playbill.com, this affects approximately 100 Tony voters, bringing the tally down from 800 to 700

Votes can now only be cast by governing members of organizations such as the American Theatre Wing, The Broadway League, Actor's Equity Association, etc.

My favorite part about this letter was this: "Please note that this change in no way affects your inclusion on the First Night Press List." It was lovely of them to reassure us insecure journalists that, although we have no say in Broadway's biggest awards anymore, we still get to walk the red carpet on opening night. Whew!

And you thought the expansion of Academy Award's Best Picture category from five to ten was big news! (It probably is, but not on this blog.)

Peace Now! Justice Now! Equality Forever!

How's this for cool? Hair is cancelling its Oct. 11 performance so that "the entire cast can join the National Equality March in Washington, D.C."

Producer Oskar Eustis explained in a statement that Hair has always been a political show, and what better way to walk the walk than by participating in the march for equality for both gay and straight couples.

This announcement didn't really surprise me; what did make me pause was the date. Hair is running into October? Well, even better for them!

Live Blogging the Tony's

A few weeks ago I was quite taken by EW's PopWatch live blogging of the first clip from the upcoming movie musical Nine. So spontaneous, so off the cuff, so unpredictable. In that spirit, I now present to you my unplanned, come-as-they-are reactions to this year's Tony Awards.

Opening number:

Hey, it's Elton John! Those Billy Elliot boys can dance ballet and do gymnastics? And fly?! Not fair. What's up with the sound? Did someone leave a mike on by accident, or is the coughing part of the new West Side Story rewrite? Whoa, someone just screamed during the Guys and Dolls bit. Is it just me, or are these songs really not meshing well? Ok, I'm kind of loving that Bret Michaels and Poison are singing at the Tony's. Those girls are so trashy and sprayed up and, well, perfect. Is Rock of Ages really this much fun? Oh dear, Stockard Channing--you look fabulous but sound a little mannish. Did you hear that thunderous reaction to Aaron Tveit from Next to Normal? Perhaps Tveit should have played Joey...that's some serious chemistry between the two of them. The cast of Shrek looks oddly out of place, and the sound is still pretty wonky. Was that John Tartaglia? Can't even recognize him in that hideous costume. Hello, Dolly! And Liza! Sing it, Liza! Watch out for the hippies, they're right behind you. Oh no, they've got Elton. Now this looks like a party onstage. Whoooooooo!

Neil Patrick Harris' Opening Monologue:

Fully applaud this choice of host. Why didn't anyone build a Tony's set that looks like the outside of a theatre before? It's a brilliant move! Please acknowledge your shiny pants, NPH. Has nobody thought to fix the sound yet? Kudos to Constantine Maroulis for going along with that joke. Ooh, that Angela Lansbury joke did not go over well at all.

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Play:

The adorable Roger Robinson (Joe Turner's Come and Gone). My Tony scorecard is off to a roaring start: 0-1

Shrek Performance:

Oh wow. And not in a good way. But thankfully Christopher Seiber is here to interrupt this shrill wooden doll chattering. However...I can't help but have flashbacks to Gary Beach from The Producers.

Best Featured Actress in a Play

She even admitted it wasn't fair to her other nominees. Angela Lansbury (Blithe Spirit) makes history as only the second actress in Tony's history to win five times. Now my scorecard is even.

Touring Performance

I totally cannot begrudge them for throwing Mamma Mia! into this telecast. I do begrudge them for the little encore, though.

Excerpt from 33 Variations

Thank goodness we get filmed clips and not the roundtable reading from YEAR. But, does only two sentences count as a clip?

Best Score of a Musical

Will Ferrill! No, really it was Tom Kitt and Brian Yorky for Next to Normal, and for my money, they totally deserve it. Scorecard: 2-3

West Side Story Performance

I do love me some Lin-Manuel Miranda. Gorgeous choice to showcase some of the high energy dancing, but Matt Cavanaugh still doesn't do it for me as Tony. Josefina Scaglione, however, was indeed bred in a lab to play Maria.

Best Direction of a Play

The second Matthew Warchus for God of Carnage. That sure tripped Susan Sarandon up, didn't it? Scorecard 2-4

Best Direction of a Musical

Stephen Daldry (Billy Elliot) of course, although Michael Greif (Next to Normal) and Diane Paulus (Hair) gave him a run for his money. Kristin Hanggi (Rock of Ages)? Who are you and why are you so orange? Scorecard: 3-5

Hair Performance

And commence with the Constantine Maroulis jokes. Glowsticks. Of course. Can we just give an award to their guitarists? And...end with a crotch shot!

Best Special Theatrical Event

Liza vs. Will, a fight to the death. And the winner is...Liza! To be honest, she completely deserved it, and since Will Ferril was such a hit, I bet he'll be back on the boards at some point. Was anyone even listening to the guy who accepted the award at first, or were they watching Liza make happy faces at the audience, like I was? Scorecard: 4-6

God of Carnage Excerpt

At least that was longer than 33 Variations.

Guys and Dolls Performance

Holy cow, that sound! Thank you, person, for bringing on a hand-held mike. Now, I followed all the Twitter feeds during the rehearsals, so how can it be that the sound is so badly messed up during the telecast? It does not compute. Also not making sense are the strange computerized images in the background of this number. Why are we flying over buildings? Are we underwater...now? Did they think that Tituss Bergess was still in The Little Mermaid?

Recap of the Creative Arts Awards

A tie! Really, that actually happens? Billy Elliot AND Next to Normal win Best Orchestrations. Best Book goes to Lee Hall (Billy Elliot). Sad face for Hunter Bell ([title of show]). Peter Darling predictably wins Best Choreography for--you guessed it--Billy Elliot. Here I am at 7-9--hooray!

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical

Gregory Jbara (Billy Elliot) brings his wife onstage with him to accept his award, and then tears up. This is a beautiful moment. Scorecard: 8-10

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical

Hadyn--whaaaa? Karen Olivo (West Side Story)! FIRST REAL UPSET OF THE NIGHT! She obviously didn't expect to win, and this makes for an exciting, honest speech, complete with real tears. 8-11

Next to Normal Performance

So they got Carrie Fisher to introduce the musical about mental illness. Uh-huh. At least she hasthe grace to laugh about it, especially when she misreads the Teleprompter. Anyway, thrilled that they chose to perform one of my favorite songs (You Don't Know/I Am the One), and clearly the audience is just as thrilled with Aaron Tveit. I'm so happy that this won a well-deserved Tony for Best Score. Could this upset Billy Elliot for Best Musical?

Best Performance by a Lead Actor in a Play

Even though the crowd went bonkers for long-suffering Raul Esparza, Geoffrey Rush (Exit the King) gets the award. Shoot, now I'm 8-12

Dividing the Estate Excerpt

Why was Hallie Foot so scared during the intro? Perhaps she knew how difficult her thick Southern accent would be to understand during the ridiculously short clip. Seriously, we can have a retread performance from Mamma Mia! but we can't show more than three sentences from a play?

In Memorium

Classy, and thank goodness someone seemed to be making sure we could read the names most of the time. Like Bebe, I'm getting a little weepy.

More Creative Arts Awards

Best Lighting goes to Joe Turner's Come and Gone, Billy Elliot gets Lighting for a Musical. Shrek wins Costumes, 33 Variations for Scenic Play Design, Billy Elliot for Scenic Design Musical. Hey, Equus won something! Best Sound Design of a Play. And then there's Billy Elliot. Again (Sound Design of a Musical). Let's see, that makes my tally... 9-19. Ouch. Curse you, Creative Arts Awards.

Best Lead Actress in a Play

Gosh but Frank Langella is cute. And, for me anyway, here is the second real upset of the night. My money was on one of the two ladies from Mary Stuart, yet here is Marcia Gay Harden (God of Carnage). And that takes some grace to use of some of her precious speech time to clear up the televised mislabeling of Harriet Walter and Janet McTeer. 9-20

reasons to be pretty Excerpt

Jarring. Just...jarring.

Billy Elliot Performance

How do they choose which Billy performs? That's what I really want to know. And I hate to be picky, but could they have done more of a medley? Just askin'...

Legally Blonde performance

Is this a mea culpa for them not getting to perform a few years ago? Even if it is, this just seems out of place and a little forced.

Best Revival of a Play

Really? Is it really pronounced Gaw-dough? All of my theatre professors were terribly wrong. And then the entire family for The Norman Conquests troops onto the stage, and arranging them takes up all the speech time. The good news is that I'm now 10-20.

Best Play

God of Carnage, of course. Did you think it would be anything else by this point? Boy, does Yasmina Reza look smug.

Lifetime Achievement Award

Well thought-out introduction to Jerry Herman's catalog of work. Now, I've got a tie-breaker resting on how long Herman's speech is (I guessed 45 seconds), but really, by now, we all know I'm not winning the Tony pool. I hope he talks for at least 5 minutes just to make me feel better.

Hair Performance

They already sang "Let the Sunshine In," so is it "Age of Aquarius" we'll be treated to? Oh, but of course, the title song. And hippies are on the loose again! Who is Will Swenson climbing on?

Best Revival of a Musical

Did you know I read Kristin Chenoweth's memoir in about four hours? It was that entertaining. I learned from her book that she relies on hair extensions to build up her super-fine hair, so I was chuckling inwardly when Hair won. I was also loving that actor standing behind Oskar Eustis who was trying not to cry. It's ok, Actor Man, your show just won a Tony. You cry all you want.

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical

THUNDEROUS applause when Alice Ripley's name was listed in the nominees, and I cheered quite a bit when she won for Next to Normal. If you read this blog, you know I was blown away by her performance when I saw her last year. Well-deserved. However, I don't think I was the only one who thought she was channeling Diana when she started shouting about art. 13-23

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical

Oh dear, that Audra intro went horribly wrong. Luckily we get the three cuties from Billy Elliot to rescue it. Hurrah for some more Tony Awards history, and hurrah for them seriously not knowing who should start the thank you's. 14-24

Jersey Boys Performance

It had to be something spectacular to follow the Billy Elliot boys, and five Frankie Valli's is a pretty good choice. But the bit of "Oh! What a Night" actually brought the energy down a tad.

Best Musical

It's.......Billy Elliot, of course. But having Liza cry, "Yay, Elton! Yay! Yay!" was a nice touch, as were all of the squealing ballet girls.

But we're not done yet. Marc Shaiman and Tom Wittman impressively provided an 11 o'clock number for Neil Patrick Harris, recapping the evening and I bet Angela Lansbury did indeed get a few smooches from the boys of Poison.

My official tally: 15-25. Yay, Elton! Yay!

Curtain Up...

Here it is, the day we've been preparing for all year: "our SuperBowl."

Since I'm now located in the Pacific time zone, I'm useless as far as up to the minute news tonight (the final award will have been handed out before my broadcast even begins.) To keep you in the loop, here's three excellent ways to follow the action:

Red Carpet Coverage and "Creative Awards" Webcast

The Tony Awards on Twitter

Playbill's Behind the Scenes Blog

And if you happen to be anywhere near Times Square tonight, pull up a lawn chair and watch the telecast from the newly granted "pedestrian only" section. Hard to be Duffy Square on a night like this.

Of course there will be much analyzing, kvetching and celebrating here tomorrow, but for now, put on that Pirate Queen T-shirt and enjoy the show!

Write On

Rumors are flying that the award for Best Book of a Musical will not be presented during the prime time telecast of this year's Tony Awards.

According to Playbill, the Dramatists Guild issued a statement on June 2, which began: "The Guild objects in the strongest possible terms to the exclusion of this award from the live broadcast."

No formal announcements have been made yet as to which awards will be presented during the hour before the live broadcast, known as "The Creative Awards." Costumes, set design, sound and orchestrations have filled the bill in years past, but apparently Best Book may soon be joining the party.

I, for one, agree with DG president Stephen Schwartz: "We strongly urge that the Best Book Award be put back where it belongs. Live, on the air."

Red Bra Straps

Hey, long time no see, eh? During this absence, I've been treating myself to a different kind of theatre, a type I haven't seen in, oh, about seven years.

I went to a rock concert!

Not just one, but two in four days. Crazy, right?

For someone whose musical tastes run to, well musicals, it's pretty rare for me to fork over precious money to see a band. My opinion has usually been that listening to a CD is more or less the same experience as seeing a band in concert, especially if that concert is a cavernous arena filled with people who paid out the wazoo to watch little specks strut around the stage and lip sync.

However, when Cowboy Mouth came to Martini Ranch in Scottsdale last week, I decided it was worth the risk and $20. The New Orleans band fronted by sweaty, crazy drummer Fred LeBlanc didn't not disappoint, and their concert was every bit as energetic, bouncy and irreverent as I'd been promised. Even though LeBlanc ran the stage (even playfully scolding a girl by the stage for touching his drums: "You wanna play with drums? Then start your own fuckin' band!"), I was intrigued by bassist Regina Zernay. She owned the "rocker chick" aura without ever overdoing it. In addition to her pink miniskirt and Nirvana T-shirt, she had a pesky red bra strap that kept peeking out of her sleeve.














Cue to: two nights ago I took a $12 chance on The Thermals, a delightfully quirky band out of Portland that recorded their first LP out of the lead singer's kitchen. Perhaps because of the wonky lighting that spotlighted her, or perhaps just because she rocked so hard, most of my attention was again focused on a female bassist, Kathy Foster. All bouncy curls and punk striped T-shirt, Foster stole the show, not an easy thing to do when the lead singer has been known to strip naked during shows just for the fun of it. And guess what? Sliding down her arm from time to time was a red bra strap.














So there you have it, girls. Red bra = rock star.

Your Name In Lights--For Now

Welcome back! Let's start off part two of Those Who Were Ignored by the Tony's with the largest category:

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Play

*Richard Griffiths and Daniel Radcliffe, Equus

On the surface, there are not many inherently likeable things about this play, and without two terrific lead actors, it can easily seem like a creepy, horny nightmare. Both Griffiths and Radcliffe garnered nothing but raves in London, and their performances seemed intact when the show moved to NYC. That said, this was a pretty full category to begin with, and these two might have only just missed the cut-off.

*Peter Sarsgaard, The Seagull

Sarsgaard is a great actor, and there are few who will tell you differently. But Trigorin is a sneaky character who lacks likeability, and perhaps the nominators knew that winning a Tony for Trigorin is a long shot.

*Frank Langella, A Man For All Seasons

Frank, you won last year for Frost/Nixon. Well deserved, but not being nominated this year surely wasn't a surprise. Committee's like to spread it around from time to time.

*John Lithgow, All My Sons

Although he's a fine dramatic actor, popular opinion of Lithgow has veered more toward musical comedy than tortured actor. A nomination for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and a win for Sweet Smell of Success confirms that we like him wry and smarmy.

*Jeremy Piven, Speed-the-Plow

Forgive me. I had to.

*Michael Cerveris, Hedda Gabler

Michael, are you starting to go the way of Raul Esparza? First Cymbeline, now Hedda...We know from his mesmerizing musical performances that Cerveris is an extremely talented actor, but this production was so ghastly that it didn't receive any nominations. I know you'll have better luck next time, Michael, if you choose wisely.

*Rupert Everett, Blithe Spirit

He's charming, he's handsome and he's got that Noel Coward aura that should have been perfect for this revival. Fact is, Everett fell flat when placed next to stage legends such as Angela Lansbury and Christine Ebersole. And that snide profile in the New York Times didn't help his appeal much, either.

*Jeremy Irons, Impressionism

Hey, Jeremy Irons was on Broadway this season? How about that!

*Matthew Broderick, The Philanthropist

If we ever get to see Broderick play a character with a smidgen of charm again, perhaps then.

*Pablo Schreiber, Desire Under The Elms

This is only the second Broadway outing for Liev's little brother, but just as with Awake and Sing! (Tony nom), he proves he's really good. Oh, and he's pretty to look at. Aren't the sponsors trying to get people to tune into the telecast? I'm telling you, stage something where Pablo Schreiber and Patrick Wilson are shirtless and you're golden.

*David Hyde Pierce, Accent on Youth

If we ever get to see Hyde Pierce play a character that is not Niles Crane, perhaps then.

*Nathan Lane and Bill Irwin, Waiting for Godot

Two first-rate clowns playing, essentially, clowns. Unless they made horrible onstage choices, then something doesn't add up here.

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Play

*Kristin Scott Thomas, The Seagull

An actress practically born to play period roles with a melodramatic flair and an arched eyebrow, Scott Thomas seemed like a shoe-in. In the end, it probably doesn't matter since either Jane Fonda or one of the ladies from Mary Stuart will take the award.

*Dianne Wiest, All My Sons

General consensus named Wiest as the best part of this show, but in the end, well...see above.

*Tovah Feldshuh, Irena's Vow

The woman is nearing 60 and convinced audiences that in the beginning of the show she was a teenage girl. Always worth a nomination.

*Christine Ebersole, Blithe Spirit

Sorry, but practically anything she did to follow up Grey Gardens would seem like a let-down.

*Joan Allen, Impressionism

Hey, Joan Allen was on Broadway this year? How about that!

*Carla Gugino, Desire Under the Elms

Gugino has slowly been building her theatrical credibility, and her sizzling portrayal of Abbie Cabot (the ultimate MILF) completely deserved recognition.

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical

*Hunter Bell, [title of show]

Granted he got a nod for writing the show's book, and he was basically playing an exaggerated version of himself, but... he was so darn adorable!

*James Barbour, A Tale of Two Cities

Barbour was considered a shoe-in even when the show was playing in Florida, but perhaps the committee kept his name off the list because they wanted to avoid the media bringing up his sexual molestation of a minor conviction...just like I'm doing now.

*Stephen Bogardus and Jeffry Denman, Irving Berlin's White Christmas

I'm still sticking with the belief that this will be such a regional juggernaut that Tonys' wouldn't matter one way or the other, but Jeffry Denman, who has been with the show since its inception and is such a talented song-and-dance man, has clawed his way up from the chorus to true leading man status. Surely they could have squeezed him in there?

*Matthew Risch, Pal Joey

Remember him? He replaced Christian Hoff and his broken foot during previews, therefore starring in a real-life 42nd Street. However, his performance was dwarfed by those of Stockard Channing and Martha Plimpton, and everyone quickly forgot about him.

*Malcolm Gets and Will Chase, The Story of My Life

Gets, an immensely talented musical theatre performer, is doomed to be remembered only as "that guy from 'Caroline in the City.'" Chase has originated lead roles in Lennon, High Fidelity, and now this. Cursed.

*Craig Bierko and Oliver Platt, Guys and Dolls

Yes, Bierko had loads of energy when he did The Music Man nine years ago. Sadly it sounds like that energy has worn thin, and his Sky Masterson lacked the natural charisma and charm that, frankly, the whole show is built around. People are still scratching their heads as to why Platt--a non-musical actor--was chosen to play Nathan Detroit.

*Matt Cavenaugh, West Side Story

I, for one, find his absence totally reasonable. My earliest encounter with Cavenaugh's "acting skills" came when he dropped his towel in the regional premiere of Dorian, a musicalization of "The Portrait of Dorian Gray" set in New Orleans. Since then the hype has mainly centered around his pecs, not his talent. Yes, the boy can sing, but with such a Broadway heavyweight as West Side Story, we expect a little bit more than that.

Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical

*Kerry O'Malley and Meredith Patterson, Irving Berlin's White Christmas

Look. You're all tired of hearing me say it. I'm tired of writing it. This show doesn't need a Tony. Moving on...

*Lauren Graham and Kate Jennings Grant, Guys and Dolls

On paper, it looked perfect: sassy, fast-talking TV actress with a great period look. Word is that Graham is a decent singer and even better dancer, but somehow her portrayal of the long-suffering Miss Adelaide just lacked oomph. Seems like she forgot to sell it to the back row. And Kate Jennings Grant? Who is she again?

*Amy Spanger, Rock of Ages
If Constantine Maroulis can get a nod, then surely Spanger--the definition of musical comedy gold--should get one, too. Just saying...

*Stephanie J. Block and Megan Hilty, 9 to 5

Block plays the least flashy the three women, but surely her insanely strong high belt counts for something? Hilty, on the other hand, is by far the flashiest, and if she can pull off such a bouncy performance with the original Doralee Rhodes writing the songs and waiting in the wings, then she deserves to be noticed for her complete, utter lack of intimidation.